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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23181418">Side Effects</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsOfHeart/pseuds/WordsOfHeart'>WordsOfHeart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elite (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Angst, Body Image, Cancer, Childhood Memories, Dizziness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hair Loss, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Leukemia, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Nausea, Suffering, Swearing, Vomiting, mentions of vomit, nerve pain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:02:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23181418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsOfHeart/pseuds/WordsOfHeart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also nerve pain in the joints. You won’t feel like eating, going out or practically doing anything. And yes, your hair will probably fall out."</p><p>_________________________<br/>Aka : this is a multi-chaptered fic that also works as one shots. Each chapter represents Ander going through one of the side effects mentioned by the doctor in the second episode. Of course, Omar is there for him, every single step of the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ander Muñoz &amp; Azucena Muñoz, Ander Muñoz &amp; Guzmán Nunier Osuna, Ander Muñoz &amp; Omar Shana, Ander Muñoz/Omar Shana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>625</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fatigue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi babes.<br/>So, we talked a lot about cancer in Elite season 3, but we barely saw any of the side effects, or the way Ander and Omar dealed with them. Here is my take on all of them. </p><p>Enjoy babes Xx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent <strong>fatigue</strong>, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also nerve pain in the joints. You won’t feel like eating, going out or practically doing anything. And yes, your hair will probably fall out."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Fatigue</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar’s eyes flutter open as the sunrays make their way through the thin curtains of Ander’s bedroom. He has barely gotten any sleep, but he is in no position to complain, even though the nightmares are getting worse. The images of Ander losing his battle are constantly haunting him, consuming his mind. The nights are short between waking up to make sure his boyfriend is still breathing and calming down his own anxiety. Omar is convinced that he has now memorised every single detail of the ceiling. One crack in the left corner, a small yellow stain in the middle and a tiny hole by the light bulb. All he seems to do recently is think and sadly, the scariness of thoughts has no limits.</p><p>Even though he is very much awake, Omar barely moves, not wanting to wake Ander up just yet. His head is tucked deep into his chest and the presence against his body makes Omar feel calm. He can feel the other boy’s shoulders slowly raise and fall, trying to match his own breathing with Anders. Omar knows how emotionally, and physically exhausted Ander feels, even though he won’t dare to admit it. He can see it from the purple circles under his eyes and the paleness of his skin. Never has he seen someone as ghost white as Ander and it really frightens him.</p><p>As Omar gently starts brushing his fingers into his boyfriends’ curls, he can hear light footsteps in the background. He knows it’s Azucena checking up on them for the tenth time in the past half hour. He sighs, getting ready to answer the same questions he has replied to for the three previous mornings.</p><p>"Morning. " She whispers, knowing that her son was still very much asleep. "Did he complain of nausea a lot like he did yesterday?" She then asks with obvious worry in her voice.</p><p>"It was better than the night before. He only woke up twice. One of them because he was cold and the other because he was thirsty." Omar explains, now allowing his thumb to rub up and down Anders bicep.</p><p>Azucena only smiles, feeling ever so thankful that her son has such a caring boy by his side.</p><p>"Would you like something to eat darling? I was about to make pancakes."</p><p>The hopeful look on her face breaks Omar’s heart. He knows pancakes are Ander’s favorite and that his mother is probably praying that her son will find it in him to eat a few of them when he finally wakes up.</p><p>"That would be really good. " He says anyhow, not wanting to burst her bubble. "I’ll wake him soon and with a little luck we will both come downstairs together. " He explains, feeling quite optimistic himself.</p><p>Once again, she smiles, not adding anything more this time. She turns her heels and makes her way back to the stairway.</p><p>Ander waits for the footsteps to fade to open his eyes, raising his chin to look up into Omar’s eyes. Omar smiles at him, tucking one of his curl behind his ear.</p><p>"You were faking sleep so I would have to face your mother alone huh?" Omar snorts as he presses a soft kiss to his boyfriends flustered cheek.</p><p>"I didn’t want her to force me to eat just yet. I wanted a few more minutes alone with you before. " Ander smiles lightly, rubbing his tired eyes.</p><p>"I guess that’s fair. " Omar smiles back, wrapping both his arms around Ander’s thin frame, forcing him into a tight and heartwarming hug. "I was thinking we could maybe go for a small walk after breakfast. A little bit of fresh air could really help your spirit. "</p><p>Ander sighs at his boyfriend’s suggestion, slowly shaking his head. "I don’t know Omar…I feel kind of…"</p><p>"Tired?" Omar finishes his sentence, knowing very well that it was the next word he was going to say.</p><p>Ander nods shamefully, knowing it was lame since he had basically spent the last 10 hours sleeping. Honestly, the simple fact of getting out of bed to walk to the kitchen seemed like an unachievable task. As a response, Omar lightly caressed the boy’s cheek with the tip of his fingers.</p><p>"Don’t worry about it. There’s this new comedy tv show Samu keeps blabbing about, I could start watching it today. You can watch it with me if you want? Or sleep more? Or do both." Omar quickly suggests, not wanting Ander to feel bad for a single second. "But there’s one condition. " Omar finally adds.</p><p>Ander offers him a light smile, knowing such an amazing offer had to come with a price.</p><p>"Let me guess. You want me to eat a pancake. " Ander guesses, gently lifting his arm to poke Omar’s nose.</p><p>Omar shakes his head, grabbing his boyfriends’ finger between his own and pressing a small kiss against it.</p><p>"I actually want you to eat two. Or at least, really try. "</p><p>Ander rolls his eyes and covers his face with his hands in defeat. It would probably take a while to gain the courage to swallow enough bites to make Omar and his mother happy, but if it’s what it takes to spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed with his boyfriend, he is ready to give it all he has.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nausea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, <strong>nausea</strong>, vomiting, dizziness…and also nerve pain in the joints. You won’t feel like eating, going out or practically doing anything. And yes, your hair will probably fall out.</em>
  <em>"</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u">Nausea</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander tries his best to focus on the lesson plan his teacher keeps repeating. His eyes keep shifting from the chalkboard to his books, unable to concentrate completely on one specific thing. He hopes that his messy pile of notes will be enough to get him through his exams, but as his head keeps pounding, he doubts it. When his stomach churns for the third time, he decides to give up completely, dropping his pencil and resting his head against the desk instead. Only two seats away, he feels Guzmán’s eyes locked on him. He is giving him a worried glance. Only a few centimeters away, he can also feel Carla offering his shoulder a light squeeze, but it’s not enough to bring his attention back. He swallows the thick bile rising in his throat and attempts to ignore the cold sweat forming among his forehead, not wanting to cause a scene with all his classmates staring at him, especially since barely any of them knew his dark secret yet.</p>
<p>Everything happening around him seems to be getting on his nerves: the girl that keeps running a hand through her hair, Rebecca who can’t seem to stop chewing her gum in his ears and Samuel who keeps tapping his pen against the wooden surface of the table. Ander closes his eyes and takes a few steady breaths to calm himself down, knowing he would need to get out of this confined space soon.</p>
<p><em>"</em>Ander? "</p>
<p>He can hear the tenderness of Carla’s voice whispering his name, but choses to ignore it. He gather’s his books with his shaking hands and shoves them in his backpack as fast as he possibly can, dropping his pencil case along the way. Not wanting to risk the motion bending over could cause to his already uneasy tummy, Ander leaves it on the ground. He jumps out of his seat and wobbles out of the classroom. His comrades exchange worried glances and his teacher attempts shouting his name, but Guzmán is the only one to follow him out of the student filled room.</p>
<p>Ander rushes down the corridor, having one very define mission in mind. He wants to make it in time to the bathroom stalls. Ignoring every single obstacle on his way, he pushes the heavy door open and drops to his knees by the porcelain bowl. He squeezes his eyes shut and coughs, quickly noticing that nothing more is happening despite his intense nausea.</p>
<p>Guzmán walks in only seconds after him and hears the gagging sounds. He allows himself to push the cabin’s door open, frowning at the sight of his friend in such despair. He sits on the ground right by him, pressing a steady hand against his back.</p>
<p>"I keep feeling like I’m about to throw up…But when I finally feel like it’s going to happen…It just won’t come up. " Ander sighs, haven given up his macho self alongside Guzmán quite a while ago. The level of agony in his tone is something Guzmán has never been a witness of before.</p>
<p>Ander sighs, body sinking. He rubs his mouth with the sleeve of his white shirt, even though there is nothing other than saliva to wipe. The paleness of his face startles his friend quite a bit.</p>
<p>"What can I do for you man…?" The taller boy asks, watching Ander closely as he rests his back against the stall. He’s unsure of how long it will be before he starts gagging again.</p>
<p>Ander lets his shoulders raise and fall, not having a clue himself. He offers his friend a sad smile before reaching for his phone in the back pocket of his burgundy pants. He then grabs the knot of his tie, pulling on it to loosen the fabric around his neck, needing more space to breathe properly.</p>
<p>"Call Omar...Ask h-him to come p-pick me up…Pl-Please. " Ander begs as he hands his device to his best friend, fingers slightly trembling.</p>
<p>Guzmán nods, not mentioning Ander’s broken voice. He picks up his mobile and selects the very first contact. He presses the phone against his ear and waits patiently for a reply. He offers his friend a reassuring smile. "You can lay your back against me if it makes you more comfortable. " He whispers before Omar finally picks up.</p>
<p>Ander breathes out in relief as he allows his head to drop against Guzmán’s shoulder. Guzmán does not say a word but knows his friend well enough to realise that he must be feeling very poorly to accept his offer that easily.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Hey honey. Aren’t you supposed to be in class at this time? I can’t wait for you to get home and cuddle with me, I’m bored out of my mind. "</em>
</p>
<p>Guzmán can’t help but smile at how good of a boyfriend Omar is to his best friend. He still can’t quite believe he doubted him in the past.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Your wish might come true sooner than you would like. " </em>
  <em>He replies, keeping an arm wrapped steadily around Ander. He’s pretty sure the boy is seconds away from falling asleep. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Guzm</em>
  <em>á</em>
  <em>n?! Where is Ander? What’s wrong.</em>
  <em>"</em>
</p>
<p>Guzmán does not have to see the boy to know that he is already up from the couch and putting his shoes on. He can literally hear how out of breath he is becoming.</p>
<p><em>"Chill please. I think today’s treatment fucked him up pretty bad. He got super nauseous in class and now he is basically sleeping on my shoulder. He asked me to call you.</em> <em>He’s alright though, I just think he would be better home in his bed…With you." </em>Guzmán explains very carefully, trying to avoid giving Omar a heart attack.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Put him on the line please. " </em>
</p>
<p>Guzmán nods, letting the phone slide off from his ear. He then hands it to his friend, who can barely keep his head up. <em>"I’ve got you.</em> <em>" </em>He mouths his words, keeping the phone between his own fingers and slowly holding it against Ander’s ear.</p>
<p><em>"Omar…Stop worrying and get your sexy ass here. I’m alright. I promise. I just missed you too much." </em><em>Ander does his best to speak in a coherent way. </em>Guzmán offers him a thumbs up, which makes him believe that his mission is a success.</p>
<p>
  <em>"You still have humour, that’s good. I’m already on my way. I love you. "</em>
</p>
<p>Ander looks at Guzmán with a faint smile, which gives him the hint that the call is over. The boy hangs up and lets the phone drop onto Ander’s lap. Guzmán can see just how badly Ander is struggling to stay awake.</p>
<p>"Sleep. I promise I’ll wake you up when Omar gets here so you can look like a tough guy. " Guzmán insists, raising his arm a little higher so Ander could tuck his face into the crook of his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Thank you. " Ander mouths, feeling his body sync into his friends’ side.</p>
<p>Guzmán winks at him in response, internally praying that this is the worst Ander was going to get.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Vomiting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi pretty babes!<br/>Just wanted to say a quick thank you for all your support with this story so far. These past few days have been really rough for the world we live in...but your love makes it a little better for me.<br/>You guys are all amazing. </p><p>Enjoy this chapter and i'll see you soon for another update Xx.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"</em> <em>Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, </em><em>nausea</em><em>, <strong>vomiting</strong>, dizziness…and also nerve pain in the joints. You won’t feel like eating, going out or practically doing anything. And yes, your hair will probably fall out.</em> <em>"</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">Vomiting</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar sighs as he walks up to the porch of Ander’s home, his home. He had spent a hell of a night, between dealing with people’s drunk asses and his annoying boss. His shift seemed like it had lasted ages, especially since the only thing he can recently think about is the well being of his ill boyfriend.</p><p>In fact, the idea of opening the door almost scares him. Every time he walks in after work, he’s scared he’ll find Ander in a horrible state, which is why he decides to enjoy the music playing in his headphones a little longer. He breathes in the fresh air and lets the wind caress his cheek softly. He knows he can’t delay his arrival forever, so finally decides to push the key into the lock. When he walks inside, he is almost shocked. For the first time in a while, every single light in the house is switched off. The living room is so dark, he’s almost afraid that he’s going trip over one of Ander’s multiple pairs of shoes. He leans against the wall for support and tries to be as silent as possible, figuring that everyone in the household is probably fast asleep.</p><p>He sighs in relief when he reaches the steps that will lead him to his boyfriends’ room. He climbs them both at a time because the idea of crashing in bed next to Ander for the rest of the night really sounding appealing.</p><p>By his surprise, when he finally makes it upstairs, he notices that Ander is not asleep. Actually, he’s not even in his bed. With his eyebrows furrowed, he walks towards the bathroom where a faint light is shinning. The sight of Ander laying on the cold tiles while only wearing his boxer and a thin t-shirt catches him off-guard. The toilet seat is open, and the boy is shivering.</p><p>Omar can feel his heart shatter. He walks out of the bathroom as fast as he walked in, grabbing a warm blanket from the bed. When he makes it back to Ander’s side, he wraps the boy’s shoulders with the thick fabric, rubbing his arms up and down in attempt to get his body temperature up.</p><p>Ander finally looks up at Omar. His eyes are red rimmed and the dark circles under them seem more prominent than they did a few hours before. Omar pushes one of the sweaty strands of hair away from his face with his thumb, feeling the dampness of his forehead at the same time.</p><p>"I-I…don’t feel good. " Ander breathes out, chest heaving. He pushes his nose into his boyfriends’ neck and reaches out for Omar’s hand, really wanting something reassuring to hold.</p><p>"No shit you don’t. How long have you been like this? Where’s your mom? " Omar asks with worry, squeezing Ander’s freezing hand between his own. "Why didn’t you call her?"</p><p>The simple question automatically brings tears to Ander’s already moist spheres. Omar notices quickly and decides to change the subject.</p><p>"Hey shh…It’s alright, you don’t have to answer right away. Did you get sick?" Omar asks next, running his fingers through Ander’s brown locks.</p><p>The boy shakes his head, which makes Omar smile lightly.</p><p>"Alright that’s good. Give me a second. " Omar presses a light kiss to the top of Ander’s head and gets back on his feet. He grabs a cloth from the vanity and let’s cold water run onto it. He then applies the material against the other boy’s forehead, hoping that it would soothe him down. "Do you feel good enough to get back to bed. I could get a bucket from the shed and leave it by our feet just in case. "</p><p>"I’m not…sure. " Ander sighs, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. He chases a tear away with the back of his hand, but his boyfriend notices it in the process.</p><p>Omar gently presses his hands against the boy’s cheeks, cupping his face delicately. He leans down until their foreheads are touching, cloth now resting on his lap.</p><p>"What aren’t you telling me Ander? You know you can trust me, right? You can tell me anything. "</p><p>Ander shakes his head again, trying to look away from Omar’s eyes while more tears fall along his cheeks.</p><p>"That’s enough Ander. I’m getting Azucena. " Omar finally drops, about to go back downstairs to get his boyfriends mother. He starts getting back onto his feet but is abruptly interrupted.</p><p>"No! " Ander shouts, grabbing Omar’s wrists with his fingers and pulling him back down against him.</p><p>"Then talk to me baby…Please. " Omar sighs as he caresses the boys knuckles with his thumb.</p><p>Ander sighs, finally looking into his boyfriends concerned orbs.</p><p>"Throwing up scares me. It always has. Ever since I was a little boy. I would always rather be nauseous for hours rather than being sick and feel better afterwards. My mom has that phobia too, that’s why I didn’t call her upstairs while you were gone. She would of have insisted on taking care of me even though it makes her feel horrible as well. " Ander finally confesses, feeling like a true dork. "Laugh all you want. An 18-year-old boy who’s scared of being sick. How stupid right? " He scoffs, going back to avoiding Omar’s sight.</p><p>Omar rolls his eyes as a reply. "You’re such a dumbass. Why would I ever think your fear is stupid? Stop acting like mister tough guy Ander. I’m scared of clowns; you’ve never made fun of me for that! "</p><p>"You’re scared of clowns?! " Ander chuckles in attempt to tease Omar and calm the atmosphere.</p><p>"Now don’t go teasing me! That’s unfair. " Omar grins, giving his boyfriends scalp a playful rub. "Now come, let’s get into bed. If it happens and you really do get sick, I’ll be right there. "</p><p>"To hold my hair?" Ander offers him a light smile.</p><p>"To hold your hair. "</p><p>After what appears like ages, Omar succeeds in getting Ander off from the floor and wrapped up in bed. As promised, he goes back downstairs to grab a bucket and a glass of water. When he makes it back to the bedroom, Ander is already fast asleep. He breathes out in relief when his head touches the pillow, allowing himself to shut his eyes for a few moments, his exhaustion really starting to kick in.</p><p>Sadly, his slumber does not last very long. He is woken up by the sound of heaving only twenty minutes later. Knowing exactly what is going on when he see’s Ander sitting in bed, Omar grabs the bucket by the edge of the bed, pressing it under his boyfriend’s quivering chin. Ander is back to being a shivering mess, struggling to breathe.</p><p>"Remember what I said earlier? I’m right here honey. " Omar whispers into his ear, keeping a steady hand between his shoulder blades. "Get it over with, you’ll feel so much better afterwards. "</p><p>Ander’s tears fall along his cheeks as he starts coughing up. He deperatly reaches out for Omar’s hand as he holds the bin for him. When he starts feeling warm liquid come up his throat, he knows it’s to late to go back. Before he notices, Ander is emptying the contents of his stomach into the bucket while Omar is pushing his hair back. When Ander finally stops throwing up, Omar waits a few more minutes before taking the bucket away.</p><p>"Can I clean it up? "</p><p>Ander nods firmly and allows his face to drop between both his hands. He’s cold.</p><p>Omar quickly rinses the red bucket in the bath, making sure the vomit makes its way down the drain. He ignores the smell that fills the bathroom, chasing it away with a few sprays of perfume. Before heading back to bed, he grabs the mouthwash, thinking Ander would very much appreciate getting rid of the sour taste against his tongue.</p><p>When he walks back up to Ander, he notices that the boy hasn’t moved one bit. He is still sitting in the same exact position, trembling and feeling out of breath.</p><p>"You are so amazing, and I am so proud of you. " Omar states, placing the clean bin back to it’s initial place. He sits in bed behind Ander and wraps his arms around his waist, allowing his chin to drop against the boys left shoulder.</p><p>"What…What if it happens again? " Ander whispers with a hint of terror in his tone, gently closing his eyes.</p><p>"If it happens, I’ll be there, just like this time. I’ll always be there for you Ander. " Omar promises, applying a little kiss to the top of Ander’s shoulder.</p><p>"To hold my hair? "</p><p>"That, and much, much more. "</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Dizziness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi loves!<br/>Once again, thank you for all your support in this very weird time in our lives, it means a lot to me. </p><p>Enjoy Xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"</em> <em>Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, <strong>dizziness</strong>…and also nerve pain in the joints. You won’t feel like eating, going out or practically doing anything. And yes, your hair will probably fall out."</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Dizziness</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks through his drawers with discouragement, trying to find something decent to wear tonight. He knows very well that his clothes from a few weeks ago are now too big on him. He’s not stupid. Even though Omar is nice enough to keep his comments for himself, he knows he’s lost a lot of weight. His cheek bones are getting deeper and his arms are much thinner than they used to be. He’s not ashamed of his body, but he’s scared people will start to notice his deteriorating condition. Ever since he had received his diagnosis, only a very few people knew, and he intends to keep it that way.</p><p>After hesitating for quite some time, Ander takes out a navy-blue Lacoste cardigan, praying that the extra fabric would hide his slim waist. It had been such a long time since Ander attended a party, that he barely knows how it works anymore. He has thought long and hard about going or staying alone at home but has come to the conclusion that his presence would really make Omar happy. He feels like he deserves it, especially after everything he does for him.</p><p>He almost feels himself harden when Omar comes out of the shower with his wet hair and bare chest, but curses under his breath, knowing his libido had left the second he had started chemotherapy. He still offers his boyfriend a smirk as he walks up to him. He presses a kiss to his soft lips, smiling against them. Omar looks at him for a while before he finally understands what’s happening.</p><p><em>"</em>Wait. Are you coming with me to Lu’s birthday party? " Omar asks, eyes filled with hope. It makes Ander’s smile grow even wider.</p><p>"I thought it could be fun to get out of the house a little. It’s been a while since we’ve had a normal night. " Ander explains while wrapping his arms around his boyfriends’ neck. "What do you think? "</p><p>Omar nods again and again as he presses multiple kisses all over Ander’s beautiful face.</p><p>"I think I’m over the moon! But you have to promise you’re feeling good enough. There’s going to be a lot of people and loads of noise. " Omar indicates, not wanting to sound selfish with his overexcitement.</p><p>"I promise you; I’ve been thinking about it since this morning. This is one of my rare good days, I want to make the most out of it. " Ander insists as he puts his hand against Omar’s chest, slowly caressing his skin.</p><p>With that, Omar hugged his boyfriend with all his strength, feeling extremely grateful for this moment of normality in their lives.</p><p> </p><p>♥♥♥</p><p> </p><p>When Omar said there would be people and noise at this party, he wasn’t kidding. Ander notices it the very second he walks inside Lucrecia’s luxurious home. There’s a huge crowd dancing to loud music and drinking multiple bottles of booze. It only takes a second for Lu to greet them, jumping into Omar’s arms and kissing him on the cheek.</p><p>"Hi my queen. Hi Ander. You both look absolutely gorgeous. " She smiles, spinning around to show off her dress. " Come darling, I want you to meet some people. Can I steal him from you a little Ander?" She asks, already having her fingers wrapped around the boy’s wrist, ready to drag him away to the kitchen.</p><p>Omar looks back at Ander, seeming quite unsure that leaving him alone is a good idea. Pushing away his anxiety, Ander decides that Omar should have a normal night and enjoy himself, even if it meant that they would be separated for a little while.</p><p>"Go have fun. I’m going to see if I can find Guzmán. I’ll see you later alright?" Ander insists. Omar pulls him into a kiss, ruffling his hair gently.</p><p>"I love you. " He mouths as Lucrecia pulls him though the crowd.</p><p>Ander sighs as he see’s his boyfriend being dragged away. He can already feel that the night will be very long for him, especially since he already feels tired. Wanting to make the most of the situation, he decides to take a beer from the pack Omar had brought, even though his doctor recommended not to drink during his treatments. He untwists the bottle and takes a big sip, wincing as the liquid goes down his throat. He walks through the teenagers, praying to see a familiar face.</p><p>In vain, Ander decides to try and have a little bit of fun on his own. He creates his own bubble, drinking a few more sips of his beer and he lets his body move to the beat. He closes his eyes and almost forgets for an instant that his life has changed. He feels some sweaty bodies come close to him as he dances and attempts to ignore their closeness, desperately needing to have his own space. He runs a hand through his hair as he takes a deep inhale. The smell of hard booze invading his nostrils makes his stomach feel uneasy. He doesn’t know if it’s the loud music or the flashing lights, but his suddenly head hurts. He presses his hand against the wall as he feels a sudden wave of dizziness strike his body. He feels the people around him move in slow motion, blacks’ spots dancing to the rhythm of the music and blurring his vision. He swallows his saliva that seems thicker than usual, shiver running up his spine. After what seem’s like hours, he feels a steady hand against his lower back. He blinks multiple times and breathes out in relief as his vision slowly grows back to normal.</p><p>"Are you alright? " Rebeca asks as she stands very close to him.</p><p>Still feeling disoriented, Ander shakes his head, not knowing how much longer he could trust his brain.</p><p>"It’s okay come. I know somewhere calm. " She smiles at him, rubbing up and down his arm. She then takes the beer from his hand and takes a sip out of it. "And maybe this wasn’t your best idea huh? " </p><p>Knowing she is right; he lets her take the beer without complaining. Ander then let’s Rebecca guide him into one of the second-floor bedrooms. He sighs in relief when he sits down on the bed, feeling himself relax. He presses his fingers against his temples, rubbing them gently with a circular motion. He has the impression that his head is about to burst open.</p><p>"Tell me big guy, want me to go find Omar?" Rebeca questions him, tapping his thigh softly.</p><p>Ander thinks for a second. He really does want to be with Omar, but at the same time, he had promised himself to offer his boyfriend a normal night. He sighs before finally speaking against his heart.</p><p>"No, please don’t. I really just want him to enjoy his night for once." Ander almost begs, letting his hand rest over hers. "But thank you."</p><p>Rebeca nods because she gets it. She knows what it feels like to have the impression to be a burden to the ones you love most. Ander swallows, trying to focus on something else than the room spinning around him.</p><p>"Can I do something for you? Anything? " Rebecca asks next, noticing the extreme paleness of Ander’s skin.</p><p>Before he answers, he feels someone else sit on the bed right by his side. When he turns his head, he see’s Guzmán with his legendary smile.</p><p>"Samu said he say you two climb up here. I knew something had to be wrong. Apparently, I was right." Guzmán says as he kicks his shoes off and lays his legs on the bed. He let’s his back rest against the multiple pillows on the wall. He then throws a water bottle onto Ander’s lap. "Drink up. "</p><p>Ander smiles at him, grateful to have such amazing friends. He twists the cap of the bottle and takes a few long sips. The translucid liquid feels much better than the beer did. He can almost feel a wave of oxygen climb up to his brain.</p><p>"So apparently, the party’s moved to upstairs? " Valerio asks as he throws himself in bed, shoes rubbing all over the white sheet’s covering his sister’s mattress and leaving a huge mud stain.  </p><p>"I take mine off and he doesn’t give a fuck. " Guzmán rolls his eyes, shoving a pillow into Valerio’s face.</p><p>Ander chuckles, relieved by the way the bedroom is slowly stabilising itself around him. He is hopeful that he might get to enjoy his evening a little. Before he gets lost completely in his thoughts, he hears more footsteps approaching. When he looks up, he see’s Samuel, Carla and Nadia standing in the doorway.</p><p>"What is happening here? " Nadia asks as she sits right by Guzmán on the bed, laying her head on his shoulder.</p><p>"We're having our own VIP party." Rebeca winks at her friend. "Well, don’t just stand there. Come join us assholes. " She states, waiting for Samuel and Carla to join them in bed as well.</p><p>"I’m not sure how much weight this bed can handle guys. " Ander smiles as he continues to drink from his water bottle. He feels a lot of weight leave his shoulders as he looks around the room, not believing how the night shifted so quickly to his advantage.</p><p>When they hear shouting begin, everyone stops talking immediately.</p><p>"What the fuck are all of you doing in my bed?!? " Lucrecia screams, bottle of champagne in one hand cosmopolitan in the other. Right behind her stands Omar, looking at everyone in the room with his eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand what is happening.</p><p>"Stop freaking out Lu. I was feeling a little dizzy and had to rest a little. The crowd followed me because they can’t stand me being away from them for too long." Guzmán explains as he squeezes Ander’s shoulder.</p><p>Ander sighs in relief, feeling in no way ready for his big secret to come out tonight. He mouths a short thank you to his friend. He is very grateful because he does feel considerably better when sitting on a soft surface.</p><p>After hesitating a little, Lu finally shouts "Oh and fuck it!" before running towards her friends and passing the bottle of champagne to the others.</p><p>While everyone laughs and has a good time, Ander feels content. He feels like for once, he hasn’t totally ruined everything for everyone.</p><p>Omar makes it by his side quickly. He sits by him and presses a smooch against his cheek.</p><p>"Are you alright? " Omar asks with a hint of worry, making sure that no one is paying attention to them.</p><p>"I got a little dizzy, but I’m already feeling better. " Ander promises, raising his pinky finger into the air.</p><p>Omar smiles back at him before letting both their pinky’s twist together.</p><p>As the night goes on, Ander expects everyone to go back downstairs and have fun, but he is surprised by the turn of events. In fact, his friends end up staying in Lu’s bedroom, drinking, chatting and laughing. As Ander looks around the room, he feels grateful for every single person by his side. He even almost allows himself to think that he will maybe tell them the truth about his health soon.</p><p>"Tell me when you want to head home. " Omar lets him know as his fingers wrap around Ander’s knee, giving it a little squeeze.</p><p>"Don’t worry. This is exactly where I want to be." Ander smirks.</p><p>Omar doesn’t remember the last time he had seen his boyfriend hazel eyes sparkle with so much joy, but he wants to keep the memory forever.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Nerve Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi loves! </p><p>Thank you soooo much for being patient and amazing with me.  <br/>This chapter was a little longer to come through, but here it is. <br/>By the way, I am no expert on nerve pain, but my amazing friend who is a nurse (in these insane times) was kind enough to answer my questions about the subject. I'm sorry if some of these details aren't perfectly accurate, but I did my best for them to at least be believable. </p><p>As always, thanks for all the support and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter Xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also <strong>nerve pain </strong>in the joints. You won’t feel like eating, going out or practically doing anything. And yes, your hair will probably fall out."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Nerve pain</span>
</p><p> </p><p>The stabbing sensation in his left hip is what makes Ander jolt from his sleep. He is pulled out of his dream before he can even comprehend where the pain is coming from, clutching desperately to his side. He moans in pain as he throws himself onto his back. He bites onto his lower lip to prevent from screaming as he feels little shocks of electricity hit his upper leg. The chocked whimpers pull Omar out of his sleep, leaving him shocked and concerned. He turns to his side and even though the room is extremely dark, he immediately see’s his boyfriend’s tensed features. The older boy bends slightly to switch the lamp from his nightstand on. The light shines across Ander’s face and makes his tears sparkle. Omar cups his boyfriends face with both his hands as soon as he notices. He perfectly knows what is happening, because it had already happened multiple times since Ander’s diagnosis. It catches them both off guard every time Ander feels such pain in one of his main joints, but Omar feels like he is getting better at handling the situation. Before Ander can speak, Omar climbs on top of the boy, forcing him to stare into his brown orbs. He rubs his tears away with the tip of his thumbs, frowning as new ones start to fall only seconds after. Ander squirms in torment, but Omar makes sure to hold him down against the soft surface of their bed.</p><p>"Ander, baby. You need to calm down. Breathe with me, just like we did last time." Omar indicates, taking a big breath with his nose. "Come on Ander. Inhale. " He then breathes out by his mouth. "And exhale. You can do it. "</p><p>Ander gives him a stiff nod as he looks at him in terror. He fills his lungs with as much air he can inhale with one sniff and lets a very small shaky breath out afterwards. Seeing that his indications are not having the wanted effect, Omar decides to get lower down on Ander, while being very careful not to put pressure onto his body. He presses both their foreheads together, knowing the proximity could only help.</p><p>"I need you to try again, but deeper this time alright. Here, look. " He explains as he takes Ander’s shaky hand and presses it to the middle of his chest. "Feel as it rises and falls. I want yours to follow the same pace. "</p><p>Ander calms down slightly as he feels Omar against him. He allows his eyes to close, wanting to concentrate fully on the synchronisation of their breathing. As he feels Omar’s chest slowly move, he tries his best to copy him. His first attempts are a failure, but after a few, he starts to regulate his heartbeat down. Omar smiles when he feels his boyfriends’ tensed body relax under him, knowing the boy is now ready for him to take care of his aching spot.</p><p>"You’re doing amazing baby. Now, please show me where it hurts this time. " Omar whispers as he slowly moves away from Ander, grabbing the lotion by the side of the bed and knocking the glass of water to the ground at the same time. He curses under his breath as the glass shatters and takes a mental note to take care of the mess later, so Ander wouldn’t hurt himself even more in the morning.</p><p>Meanwhile, Ander pushes his trembling hand slightly into his loose Nike joggers to show Omar the source of his excruciating pain. Omar nods in acknowledgement and gently pulls onto his boyfriends’ pants, lowering them above his mid thighs.</p><p>"Well, usually when I pull your pants down, it’s in a more pleasurable context." Omar attempts a little bit of humour as he opens the lid of the small bottle of the very expensive lotion the doctor had recommended. "You know the drill, this is going to feel cold at first, but it will numb the area slightly afterwards. " He explains before tucking one of Ander’s curls behind his ear and pressing a kiss to the middle of his sweaty forehead.</p><p>"It’s almost over. " Omar continues to encourage the boy as he squeezes the slimy looking product into his palm. "I love you." He breathes out as he gently presses his hand against Ander’s hip, letting the cream rub against his pale skin in circular motion. "You’re amazing. " He continues as he feels Ander slowly wince at the sensation. "And you’re beautiful." He whispers as he finishes applying the gel, pressing his lips right above his hip as he does every time Ander feels pain somewhere.</p><p>"Thank you. " Ander mouths in relief, feeling like every ounce of energy he had before going to bed had now been dragged out of him. With Omar’s precious help, the pain that had once felt like a knife stabbing through his upper leg, now feels like a numb, uncomfortable pressure.</p><p>"You would do the absolute same for me. " Omar states as he lays down on his side. He lets his fingers slowly caress Ander’s cheek, starring at him with nothing but love and admiration. "Try and get some sleep while it feels better. "</p><p>"Can you please help me out of my shirt first. I’m soaking wet. " Ander asks one last favor, hoping that he isn’t abusing of Omar’s kindness for the night, even though he knows that’s all his been doing for weeks.</p><p>"Of course. Come here. " Omar says softly as he helps his boyfriend sit up. He then takes the edges of his long-sleeved shirt between his fingers, pulling the thick fabric over the boy’s head and throwing it to the side.</p><p>Remembering his mess from earlier, he hops out of the bed for an instant, taking the sharp pieces of glass off from the floor and into the trashcan. Figuring Ander’s shirt was already wet, he uses it to wipe away the splashes of water, throwing it in the laundry bin when finished. Exhausted, Omar gets back into bed, starring at Ander who is already in a half slumber. When Ander feels Omar’s weight being dropped to the bed, he turns towards him and lets his nose press against the crook of the boy’s neck. A small smile appears onto Omar’s lips as he feels his boyfriends’ arm being wrapped around his torso. Omar lets his fingers lightly brush onto the boy’s sharp ribcage, reminding him that he needs to force Ander to eat a little something in the morning, even if it must be against his will. Shaking his thoughts away, Omar pulls the blanket higher on both their bodies even if he is already warm, knowing Ander would feel cold without it. Before Omar can even wish Ander a goodnight, he can feel his calm breaths against his neck and instantly knows the boy is asleep. He sighs in relief and wraps his arms a little tighter around his boyfriends’ body.  </p><p>As Ander’s chest rises and falls peacefully, Omar allows himself to dream about a world where they would grow old together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Eating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi babes !<br/>Guess what, i'm back!<br/>After like what, 2 weeks ?<br/>I'm really sorry for the wait but I thank you so much for being patient and understanding.<br/>These are such weird times and mental health remains the most important thing. Please, take care of yourself, physically, but also mentally.<br/>I love you all and I really do hope you enjoy this chapter (that is a little angsty this time). </p><p>If ever you struggle with body image issues please be careful with this chapter. It could be a little triggering. </p><p>Much love Xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also </em>
  <em>nerve pain</em>
  <em>i n the joints. <strong>You won’t feel like eating</strong>, going out or practically doing anything. </em>
  <em>And yes, your hair will probably fall out."</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">Eating</span>
</p><p> </p><p>The three of them sit awkwardly around the kitchen table, all starring at the lovely dinner Azucena has made without daring to say a word. The bright light dims through the thin curtains as the sun slowly sets. Even though their view on the sky is beautiful, Ander feels like he is drowning. The room is filled with a dull silence that weights heavy on his shoulders. He knows very well that both Omar and his mother are waiting for him to take a bite of his meal before starting their own plate, but the pressure is unbearable. The nausea from this morning’s chemotherapy treatment is still too present and even though his pants feel extremely loose around his hips, Ander can’t get it in him to eat one single bite. The simple smell of food coming up to his nose makes his stomach feel uneasy.</p><p>Omar takes a sip of water, feeling uncomfortable by how tensed the atmosphere is. He then dares to reach out for Ander’s hand under the table, giving it a light squeeze. The simple gesture that usually makes him feel so calm, now makes him feel persecuted. He’s aware that it’s Omar’s way of encouraging him to eat, but the feeling of disappointing his boyfriend once again makes him want to scream. He gently pulls his hand away, which leaves Omar with a sour taste on his tongue.</p><p>Azucena is the first one to speak, breaking the unbearable silence in which, they are all submerged. Ander breathes out in relief, feeling like his heart is about to explode.</p><p>"Please. For me. For Omar. Just eat a little." Azucena almost begs as her voice trembles, eyes filling with tears.</p><p>Ander sighs, tired of this worthless battle his family needs to fight for him, wishing desperately that he could for once make everyone happy by swallowing every single bite of his plate. Even though he wants to eat with all his heart, he knows he won’t be capable of managing keeping anything down, especially with how badly his stomach is hurting.  </p><p>"I’m really sorry mom. I…I just can’t do it. Not tonight. I promise I’ll try again tomorrow." He picks up the courage to tell her, not daring to look into her eyes, knowing how badly he is hurting her.</p><p>Azucena rubs away a tear, feeling mixed emotions between anger and despair. She get’s up from her seat and takes the now cold plate of food laying in front of her son. Out of frustration, she open’s the trashcan and throws the plater inside, closing the lid with a thud that makes both Ander and Omar jump in surprise.</p><p>"That’s what you said yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that one. " Azucena exclaims, throwing her apron on the counter. Her voice is stiffer than it was before, but Ander can feel the immense sadness behind every word. "I know you’re not hungry I get it. But have you looked at yourself Ander?! You’re literally skin and bones! " She now shouts, tears freely rolling down her pink cheeks. "He won’t ever tell you, but your boyfriend came to me crying last night because of how concerned he is about your weight." His mother then reveals, leaving Ander absolutely heart broken.</p><p>He turns his face in Omar’s direction, immediately noticing how extremely uneasy he is. Ander feels betrayed.  </p><p>"You did that? " Ander asks Omar while his own spheres fill with tears. "Why not tell me? Why not talk to me and let me know that you were feeling this way? I thought we told each other everything Omar. "</p><p>Omar looks at him mortified, shaking his head repeatedly.</p><p>"I…I just…I didn’t want to upset you. " Omar babbles, trying his best to avoid unnecessary drama.</p><p>"Don’t you be upset with him. I just want you to realise that…That we’re really scared for you Ander. " Azucena tries to explain, wanting to save the situation before it skids. She doesn’t have the strength to hide her tears anymore.</p><p>Ander rubs his eyes quickly with the back of his hand, feeling absolutely speechless. He knows he has lost a little bit of weight, but he had no idea it worried his loved ones to that extent. Feeling frustrated and violated, he decides to get up on his feet, leaving Omar alone at the table.</p><p>"I’m not the delicate porcelain doll that you can’t speak to anymore. Yeah alright, I have fucking cancer, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t reassure you about your concerns Omar. You should have come to me…You should have told me. I…I…" Ander stutters on his last words, tripping on his own feet as he takes a few unsteady steps back.  </p><p>Omar finally stands as well, trying to approach his boyfriend without making him more upset. "Please Ander…Don’t do this…Sit back down and we can talk calmly." He whispers as he tries to keep his emotions together for a little longer.</p><p>Ander shakes his head as more tears roll down his hollow cheeks.</p><p>"It’s too late for that now, you missed your chance. I’m going to my room so you can both cry together about the fact that I’m dying without me knowing anything about it." Ander cries out as he stumbles to the staircase that leads him to his bedroom, leaving both Omar and his mother stunned and wretched.</p><p>He hears a sob break away from his mother as he climbs upstairs, trying to push away the immense guilt flooding his mind. Enraged with himself, Ander turns into self destructive mode. He pulls his sweater over his head and wiggles out of his sweatpants, feeling chills cover his skin as the coldness of the room hits against his arms. He stops in front of his standing mirror, keeping his eyes closed tightly. Ander takes a deep breath before opening them, meeting with the reflection of his frail figure. For the first time ever since the beginning of his treatments, he really looks at himself. He runs his shaking fingers slowly along his ribs, feeling the sharpness of his bones against their tips. He then gently lets them slide across his navel, caressing his thin belly. With his vision becoming blurry, he feels his keen hips and stares at the thigh gap he never had. He squeezes his right thigh with his hand and pinches the skin softly as he blinks away his tears. Feeling vulnerable while standing there with only his boxers, Ander realises for the first time just how sick he looks. He stares at the deep black circles under his eyes and his swollen lids, his dry crackled lips and his deep cheeks. He feels like a walking skeleton. Ander has known his state was bad, but he had never realised how Omar and his mother saw him. Now, he feels like he finally pictures himself as they picture him.</p><p>Ander takes a shaky breath as he walks closer to the mirror, orbs stopping on his chocolate curls. They are the only thing that makes him feel like he is still himself, they only element that remains from the healthy boy he once was. The realisation of those strands of hair soon being gone as well is what makes him break completely. He feels his legs give out, falling to the wooden floor before he can hold himself back. The vibrations from the impact of his body crashing to the ground immediately startles Omar and his mother who both run to the second floor in a record time. The small whimpers that escape Ander’s parted lips are quickly replaced with heart wrenching sobs. The sounds escaping Ander’s thin body physically hurts his chest and make him feel like he can no longer breathe.</p><p>Without even questioning it, Azucena and Omar get in protective mode. Omar gets to the ground right by Ander’s side and wraps his body with his arms, pulling him against his chest. Ander pushes his face against him and weeps into his neck. Omar lets him cry as he slowly rocks him back and forth, biting onto his lip to keep himself from sobbing along with him. Before any of them notices, Azucena is sitting with them, huge blanket in her arms. She wraps the duvet around her son’s shoulders and gently brings a hand to his back, rubbing slow circles between his shoulder blades.</p><p>"I’m…I’m…I’m so sorry…" Ander chokes, speaking to both his mother and boyfriend through his waterfalls.</p><p>"Shh baby…It’s alright. I’m the one that’s sorry. I lost my temper, but it’s just because I love you so much." Azucena gently runs her finger’s though his hair as she starts to faintly hum a soothing song, like she did when he was toddler to help him fall asleep.</p><p>When Omar feels Ander’s body unstiffen, he tenderly pushes one arm against his back and another under him bum, scooping him up into the air. He lifts him effortlessly into the air and carries him carefully to their bed. He lays him down and wraps him into a second blanket, letting a finger lightly caress his bicep. Omar wiggles his way onto the mattress, surprised by how Ander immediately snuggles against him.</p><p>Azucena looks at both boys with gratefulness. Preparing to close the lights and leave them alone at peace, she lets out a deep sigh, taking a few steps towards the exit. She stops abruptly when she hears her son speak up.</p><p>"Mamma…Please stay too." Ander asks brokenly, needing a little more than Omar tonight. "I mean…If you don’t mind. " He adds, trying to at least keep a little dignity.</p><p>But deep down…Ander really needs his mom.</p><p>Azucena chases away a tear before walking back to her son’s side. Omar offers her a faint smile, moving so Ander would be in the middle of the bed. She kicks off her slippers before she lays down right by her boy. Ander shifts his body slightly, wanting to be face to face with his mom. Omar takes the opportunity to spoon his boyfriends shivering body.</p><p>Ander can finally feel himself relax as he stares into his mothers’ eyes. Azucena gently caresses his cheek with her palm as she begins humming a melody for the second time tonight.</p><p>"Close your eyes baby." She murmurs as she tenderly presses a kiss to his hairline.</p><p>Ander nods before giving up and allowing his lids to shut.</p><p>As he feels himself gently being taken away into slumber, Ander promises himself to eat something in the morning, no matter how nauseous it makes him, not only for himself, but for the ones he loves most.</p><p>That night, Ander dreams that he’s a soldier. The war is hard, and it leaves scars. It’s scary and it’s ugly at times. But the most important is that no matter how difficult it gets, he ends up fighting with all he’s got, because he wants nothing more than to win his battle.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Social Isolation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi babes :)<br/>I hope all of you are doing good !<br/>I can't wait for this whole Covid thing to be behind us so we can celebrate !<br/>Thank you for always being kind and patient, you are all too good to me. </p><p>This is a Guzmán chapter!<br/>I hope you will all enjoy it !<br/>Sending love and positive vibes Xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also </em>nerve<em> pain</em> <em>in the joints. </em><em>You won’t feel like eating</em><em>,</em> <em><strong>going out or practically doing anything</strong></em><em>. And yes, your hair will probably fall</em> <em>out."</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">Social isolation </span>
</p><p> </p><p>A few bites of rice, two crackers and small glass of water. That is what Ander has succeeded in eating this afternoon. It’s not a lot, but it is more than it used to be, and it makes Azucena and Omar temporarily relieved. Anyhow, their main concern now is no longer the amount of food he swallows, but the fact that he is slowly isolating himself from all his friends.</p><p>In fact, the most exiting part of Ander’s days recently is having the strength to make it downstairs for dinner. He spends most of his time in his room, wrapped in his blankets with his headphones on. Ander knows he is being a little more discreate than he used to be, but he can’t quite help it. He feels like he has lost the motivation to do all the things he used to love.</p><p>"Baby…I need to head to work. " Omar frowns, jumping in bed right next to him. He pulls him against his side and presses a kiss to the top of his head.</p><p>The gesture is enough to drag Ander out of his thoughts.</p><p>"Okay. " Ander simply whispers as he pulls the blankets up to his chin. "I’ll be sleeping when you get back. " He finally says, squishing his face into his pillow.</p><p>"Why not enjoy the moment to hang out with one of your friends? I bet they all miss you." Omar suggests as he pulls the blanket back down only to cover his boyfriends face with dozens of little kisses.</p><p>Ander rolls his eyes at Omar’s proposition. He knows how happy saying yes would make him feel, but he also really wants to stay in his room, listen to music and sleep. In fact, doing nothing seems very more tempting to him right now than making the effort to go out and see one of his friends.</p><p>"I won’t force you. " Omar adds as he see’s Ander’s reaction. "But please, think about it alright? " He smiles at him and ruffles his hair before getting out of bed, ready to head out the door.</p><p>"Maybe I could invite Guzmán over." Ander gives up.</p><p>Omar’s face immediately lights up, making him look incredibly adorable. It fills Ander’s heart with happiness for at least a few seconds.</p><p>"That baby, is the best idea you’ve had all week! " Omar smirks, blowing Ander a kiss while walking towards the exit of his room. "And something tells me he’s already on his way." He adds, content with himself.</p><p>"Oh God. What did you do? " Ander asks, sitting up in bed and wrapping his arms around his torso.</p><p>"Let’s just say I had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to refuse my proposition if I asked with my irresistible charm. " Omar winks back at him before walking out the door. "I love you! Have fun! " He shouts as he goes down the steps.</p><p>Ander sighs and lets himself drop back in bed, starring at the ceiling.</p><p>"You could of have at least given me a shirt…" He whispers to himself, knowing it was another one of Omar’s tricks to get him out of bed. He gains his courage and slowly wiggles out of the blankets. Unsteady, he walks to his closet and picks the very first t-shirt he finds. He even finds himself fixing his hair in the mirror, not wanting to terrify his friend by how depressed he looks. By the time he makes it back to his bed, he meets the very familiar smile of his best friend, standing in the doorway.</p><p>Guzmán is carrying quite a few bags, which makes Ander a little confused. Realising Ander’s escalating anxiety, the blond boy lets the bags drop to the ground. He then sits on the edge of his bed, tapping his knee lightly.</p><p>"Don’t worry, I’m not moving in. " Guzmán snorts as he wiggles out of his jacket and gets comfortable. He sits with his legs crossed, right in front of his friend. "You know, it’s quite insulting how your boyfriend was the one to invite me tonight. Especially since I texted you twenty times in the past three days and never got an answer. "</p><p>Ander sighs because he knows very well that he does not really have an excuse. He was tired and wanted to sleep, and the simple fact of grabbing his phone and replying to his messages had seemed like climbing mount Everest at the time. Now that Guzmán is sitting across him, he realises how stupid it sounds, but it’s still how he had felt a few days ago. Not really knowing how to justify his lack of presence, Ander simply buries himself in his blankets, trying to avoid any type of direct eye contact with his best friend.</p><p>"Ander Muñoz you very much know this shit doesn’t work with me. Avoiding me or pushing me away will only make me insist more, you should know this about me after so many years of friendship. " Guzmán says, looking dead serious. He then grabs the sheets between his fingers and pulls them away from Ander’s face, revealing his guilty figure. "Come on, I didn’t come here tonight so you could ignore me. Tell me what’s wrong. "</p><p>"I never asked you to come. You can always just leave if you want to. No one is holding you back." Ander finally says, still not looking into Guzmán’s orbs.</p><p>"Fuck this Ander. Do you really think I’m going to just leave when it’s obvious how shitty you’re feeling right now? Stop acting like you don’t want any help, because I really want to be here for you tonight. " Guzmán insists, getting closer to Ander and offering his shoulder a little squeeze. "I’m not leaving alright? Get it in that head of yours. " He adds while tapping gently on his temple with the tip of his index finger.</p><p>Ander eventually looks up because he knows there is no way he is winning an argument against his friend, especially since he has no energy to debate. He can’t help but let a small smile appear onto his lips when he realises how wide Guzmán’s smile is.</p><p>"What’s your plan then? Because I clearly don’t feel like going out and there’s no way you’re forcing me to go to a party. I know, you’ll say I’m lame because it’s Friday night and there’s many cool things happening but I’m really tired and…" Ander rambles before he gets cut off abruptly by the other teenager.</p><p>"You suck if you think my intentions were dragging you to a huge event. " Guzmán rolls his eyes and walks off to grab one of his multiple bags. He empties it’s content on Ander’s bed.</p><p>Ander stares at the dozens of movie DVD’s and can’t help himself from laughing.</p><p>"You know we could have just watched a movie on Netflix, right? " Ander smirks, looking through the many options.</p><p>"True, but we didn’t have Netflix when we we’re kids. This is a throwback kind of night. " The boy smiles as he nudges Ander’s side lightly. "That’s why I only picked movies from the early 2000’s. "</p><p>"You are so corny. " Ander states, throwing one of the movies to his friend. "Can you grab my laptop? It’s right by my desk. " He points, moving to the left side of the bed and placing his and Omar’s pillows against the wall for their backs, wanting Guzmán to be comfortable.</p><p>Guzmán gets the computer as Ander asked and grabs the two other bags he had brought earlier. He sits in bed and slides into the blankets as well. He then flips the laptop open and waits for it to load. Ander looks at the bags with a hint of curiosity, which Guzmán notices right away. He smiles and starts taking out multiple cushions, blankets and pillows. Ander raises an eyebrow, intrigued.</p><p>"It’s not a slumber party unless you have about fifty blankets and pillows. On top of that, you always complain that you’re cold, so I figured that with all of these, you would feel nice and warm. " Guzmán explains as he pops the DVD inside the computer and hands a few cushions to Ander. "I also brought those weird gummy snacks you used to like in kindergarten. " He smiles, throwing the colorful box on the boys lap.</p><p>Ander smiles a little wider. "You know, I didn’t really want to see you tonight, but now that you’ve brought these, I guess you can stay. " He teases, sticking his tongue out.</p><p>"Asshole. " Guzmán fights back by shoving a pillow in Ander’s face.</p><p>Ander laughs and does the same with Guzmán. Very quickly, both boys are dragged in their childhood pillow fight memories. Unfortunately, what could have lasted hours in the past, now only lasts a couple minutes. Before he even realises it, Ander is completely out of breath, searching for air. Guzmán’s smile falls when he notices. He let’s the pillow he is currently holding between his fingers drop to the ground. He presses a steady hand on Ander’s back and starts rubbing slow circles, allowing his friend to catch his breath. He looks at him concerned, now realising just how much energy the chemotherapy is sucking out of him.</p><p>"I’m alright. " Ander finally states after calming his heart rate down. He squeezes his friends arm gently and offers him a light smile. "It happens when I give too much of an effort. Just going for a walk with Omar and my mom leaves me searching for oxygen. " He explains sadly, letting his shoulders rise and fall softly. Guzmán nods, acknowledging everything the boy is telling him.</p><p>"It’s a good thing watching a movie and eating a little bit of candy is not much of an effort then. " Guzmán beams, ruffling his friend’s hair. "Want me to close the lights? "</p><p>Ander bobs his head in response. Once Guzmán has reached out for the light on the nightstand and gotten back into a laying position in bed, Ander slowly gets closer to him, allowing his head to fall on his shoulder. Guzmán finally starts the movie. When he feels Ander slowly shiver, he grabs one more blanket and wraps it around them both. He knows Ander likes being tough, so when the boy looks at him suspiciously, Guzmán simply claims that he was cold.</p><p>Both boys spend the rest of the night watching a few movies and chatting about irrelevant things. Ander spills out just how much Guzmán had missed him and Guzmán returns the feeling with a hug. When Ander falls asleep in the middle of their third movie, his best friend closes the computer and makes sure that Ander has enough blankets not to be cold tonight. He brushes his fingers through his curls and even allows himself to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. He grabs a pen and tears a page from a notebook resting on Ander’s desk. He writes a few little words and lets the note rest on the nightstand alongside the box candies Ander had not yet touched. He puts his jacket on and slips back into his shoes. When walking out of the room, he turns one last time in the doorway to stare at Ander, wondering why cancer had to pick his best friend as a target.</p><p>When waking up the next morning, snuggled up in Omar’s arms, Ander’s eyes immediately trail towards the piece of paper resting on his night table. He very careful grabs the note between his fingers, not wanting to wake his boyfriend up. A smile immediately appears on his lips when he starts reading Guzmán’s sweet words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I want to be right by your side when the doctor finally says you’ve beat cancer’s ass.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Had fun with you last night, just like old times.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know things might never be the same, but you know what won’t change?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just how much I fucking care about you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Answer your texts next time, you dick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Guzmán</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Hair Loss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi to everyone who is still somewhat interested in this story and has not completely given up on me ! <br/>I AM SO SORRY. <br/>I know, I know...I vanished for like 2 months. <br/>Some of you probably just thought I would never finish this story but trust me, it was NEVER in my intentions to not finish it. <br/>This story means so much to me and I didn't feel like my state of mind these past months would give it justice. <br/>I am a teacher and lets just say, covid has made my job crazy. It was like having to learn my job all over again. <br/>Now that summer break has arrived, i'm just so happy to be back. <br/>Thank you, thank you sooooo much to all of you that are still here with me. <br/>I hope you will enjoy this chapter. <br/>There is now only one left :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also </em>nerve<em> pain</em> <em>in the joints. You won’t feel like eating,</em> going out or practically doing anything<em>. </em><em>And yes<strong>, your hair will probably fall</strong></em><strong> <em>out.</em></strong><em>"</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">Hair loss</span>
</p>
<p>The first time it happens, Ander is taking a shower. His hands are gently massaging his scalp, rubbing through his curls, when he notices a strand of his hair tangled in between his fingers. He looks down at the brown locks in his palm and feels his heart sting. He watches carefully as the water drags his hair down the drain, feeling a part of him shut down.  </p>
<p>The second time it happens, he is getting dressed to go to school. He pulls a cardigan over his head and the soft motion is enough to make one of his curls fly onto the ground. Ander swallows hard and gets on his knees to pick it up from the floor. He squeezes it tightly, as if it would help in any way. He inspects his head in the mirror, making sure that the hair loss is not apparent. With a sigh of relief, he throws the remaining’s of his fallen hair in the trashcan.</p>
<p>The third time it happens, he feels like he is going to be sick. He is sitting in Spanish class with Guzman when the boy suddenly decides to ruffle his hair. When Ander sees the horrible face his friend is making, he knows exactly what is happening. He grabs his books and before anyone can say anything more, he is storming out of the room. Guzman follows him and shouts his name, but Ander does not turn around.</p>
<p>The fourth time it happens, he knows it’s the end. Omar and he are laying down in his bed watching a movie, when Omar starts combing his fingers through his now thin curls. The hand running into his hair feels so good and soothing that he lets himself forget what is happening to him for a minute.</p>
<p>He is dragged right back into reality when Omar sits up straight, strand of hair resting in his palm. The features of his boyfriend’s face go from tensed to sad in seconds, which makes Ander want to scream. Not only is his biggest fear coming true, but he is dragging Omar right into his mess. Omar catches onto Ander’s discomfort quite quickly and gently wraps his fingers around his wrist when he notices how he tries to wobble out of bed.</p>
<p>"Hey there, you don’t need to run away from me. " Omar speaks softly, trying to bring comfort to the terrified boy in front of him.</p>
<p>Ander can feel his heart thump quickly in his chest. The amount of hair Omar has between his fingers is quite astonishing and it makes him dizzy. Maybe the hair loss was not noticeable a few days ago, but it sure as hell must be now.</p>
<p>"Can you notice? " Ander swallows hard, not daring to look into Omar’s eyes. He fears the emotion he will find in them.</p>
<p>"What? " The teenager asks with confusion, feeling cut off-guard.</p>
<p>"Can you notice that some hair is missing? Ple-Please, don’t lie to me Omar. " Ander questions the other boy while trying so hard to keep himself together.</p>
<p>Omar bites onto his lip. He wants to hug Ander and tell him that it’s not a big deal, that it’s just stupid hair, but he knows it’s so much more than that to the boy. He knows that having those curls are the last remaining thing that reminds him a time where he isn’t sick. He notices how Ander’s hands are shaking and it makes him feel sick. He knew it would happen eventually, but he always tried to brush the thought away, to tell himself that maybe, just maybe, Ander would be one of the lucky ones that doesn’t lose his hair after chemotherapy. Now, it is all happening too fast and he knows there is no way they are going to avoid this moment.</p>
<p>"Can I…Touch your hair? It would help me really see if someone who doesn’t know could tell that some of it has fallen out. " Omar asks in the calmest voice he could produce.</p>
<p>Ander nods sadly, single tear running along his cheek. Omar holds back the urge to brush it away with his thumb, because he wants Ander to know that he is more than allowed to cry. He starts gently running his fingers through his brown hair, trying to be as careful as possible. He notices a few obvious holes where Ander’s scalp is visible, and he tries to hold back his tears. The last thing Ander needs right now is for him to break down. When he removes his hands, a few strands are stuck between his fingers and even though he wants to quickly hide them, he comes to terms with the fact that soon enough, Ander would have to accept that he is going bald.</p>
<p>"You’re not going to like what I’m about to tell you Ander. I’m…so sorry. " Omar frowns, showing his hands to Ander who immediately goes pale.</p>
<p>For a second, Ander thinks he is about to pass out, but his simply sinks into Omar’s side instead. Omar wraps his arms around him in attempt to keep him steady.</p>
<p>"I knew it was coming. I just…I thought maybe I could avoid it for longer than this. " He admits, blinking away a few tears. "Now, not only will I feel like sick, I’ll also look like I’m dying. "</p>
<p>"Don’t you dare say things like that! " Omar immediately stops him, cupping his sharp cheekbones between his palms. As much as he wants to keep his feelings for himself, he can’t stop his vision from getting blurry. "You won’t look like you’re dying. You’ll look like you’re fighting. Like you’re surviving. " He corrects him, pressing a light kiss to his lips. Ander quickly returns the motion, moving his lips in sink with Omar’s.</p>
<p>When Ander breaks the kiss, his eyes seem brighter than before. He takes Omar’s hand in his and gets up from the bed, dragging him into the bathroom a few steps away. He sits on the toilet seat and takes a deep breath before speaking again.</p>
<p>"I always knew that when the time would come, I’d ask you to do it. " Ander sighs, knowing by Omar’s furrowed eyebrows that he is not quite catching on. "I want you to shave my head Omar. "</p>
<p>Omar stands in front of him in silence, now feeling like the one about to collapse. He sits onto the edge of the bathtub and thinks wisely before saying his next sentence.</p>
<p>"Thank you. Thank you for trusting me enough to do such a thing…But can I be honest? " Omar swallows, pressing his hand onto Ander’s thigh. "I’m a little scared. "</p>
<p>At Omar’s surprise, those words bring a small smile onto Ander’s lips. Confused, he raises an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Are my nerves amusing to you? " He smiles back, elbowing him gently.</p>
<p>"It’s just… I always feel so alone with my fears. I guess it’s just good to hear you say that you are scared too. It makes me feel normal in some way. " He explains as he reaches out for the electric razor in the top drawer of his vanity, handing it to his boyfriend.</p>
<p>Omar grins as he stands up, taking the razor between his fingers. He turns it on, and the buzzing sound makes his tremble slightly. He relaxes when he see’s Ander’s small tearful smile. He almost looks…peaceful?</p>
<p>"Are you sure? " Omar gulps, approaching the other boy slowly.</p>
<p>"I guess I’m not absolutely sure... But if you promise to keep loving me even without my signature hair, it could help confirm my decision. "</p>
<p>Omar blinks away a few tears, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the boy’s forehead.</p>
<p>"I promise to keep loving you, even without those cute little curls. I also promise to keep loving you, when they grow back. " Omar insists, hope bubbling in his chest.</p>
<p>"Alright. Now I’m sure. " Ander offers him one last smile before sucking in a breath and closing his eyes shut.</p>
<p>The next thing he feels is a cold metal device against his scalp and a loud buzzing sound in his left ear.</p>
<p>His hair falls to the ground, but his faith remains.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here it was! <br/>I hope you all liked it and I hope it helped you get back into the story even if it had been such a long time. <br/>I will try to make the last chapter come soon ! </p>
<p>Kudos and comments make my day, what can I say ? </p>
<p>Beaucoup d'amour, </p>
<p>Sabrina Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 2 more weeks-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes. Yes. I know. I was gone THREE MONTHS.<br/>I'm so sorry guys. I got caught up in soooo many things and I didn't want this chapter to feel rushed in any way, especially since it's the final one.<br/>I promise, there is a quite amazing surprise at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer. With such intensive treatments the side effects will also be intense. It won’t be easy to prevent fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness…and also </em>nerve<em> pain</em> <em>in the joints. You won’t feel like eating,</em> going out or practically doing anything<em>. </em><em>And yes<strong>, </strong>your hair will probably fall</em> <em>out." </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">2 more weeks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It all started with his doctor telling him he needed to do 6 weeks of intense chemotherapy. Soon after came 6 weeks of constant fatigue that made him want to do nothing more than spend his days drifting in and out of sleep. 6 weeks of horrible waves of nausea that made it extremely difficult to focus at school. 6 weeks of waking up in the middle of the night, crying as he threw up in a bowl. 6 weeks of feeling dizzy to the point where he sometimes thought he would collapse. 6 weeks of having random shocks of electricity rushing through his body and leaving him in agonising pain. 6 weeks of barely being able to eat anything and seeing his body change into a skeleton form. 6 weeks of having Guzman up his ass, making sure he was getting enough social interactions. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>3 weeks of replaying in his mind the moment where Omar shaved off his curls.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From that very specific moment, things moved quickly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eventually, he gained the courage to tell his friends about what was happening to him. He feared their reactions, but he was pleasantly surprised by how supportive they all were. It made him feel guilty for not telling them sooner. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soon after, Ander received the news that he would have to go through 2 additional weeks of intense treatments because there were still multiple cancer cells in his blood. Not only did the news shake him to his core, but it also messed up immensely with Omar’s head. Ander still feels a chill run up his spine whenever he reminisces on the specific night when his boyfriend woke up screaming after dreaming of his death. When it had happened, it had taken everything for Omar to admit what the nightmare was about, but when he finally did, they both ended up sobbing in each other’s arms for what seemed like hours.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The two extra weeks of chemotherapy had felt like years. It was like going through all the side effects he had already experienced but multiplied by 20 in force. At some point, Ander even questioned if he was going to make it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The memory is fuzzy in his mind, but Ander remembers collapsing onto the tiles of the shower one afternoon and waking up in a hospital bed with multiple machines plugged onto him. He remembers his mother crying and Omar’s pale face right above him. His mother had then explained that he had been extremely dehydrated and needed to be stronger if he wanted to keep going with the treatments. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ander thought about giving up on everything multiple times. Strangely, the amazing people around him kept giving him enough strength with their love, to make him want to keep fighting…a little longer. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>All those horrible events in the last two weeks had now led him to this very specific day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The day where he would find out if all the suffering was worth it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The day where he would maybe leave all these horrible side effects behind him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The day where he would finally know if he was in remission.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Ander Muñoz? " A nurse tries for the third time, looking down at her sheet to make sure that she is saying the right name on her list.</p><p>He is suddenly pulled out of his memories from the last few weeks, remembering that he is now very much in the present time. He feels a gentle squeeze around his knee and looks up to meet the eyes of Omar, sitting right by his side. His chest feels tight and his stomach is in knots, presence of both his boyfriend and his mom not being enough to soothe down his nerves. He is terrified that the doctor will announce the need to go through another round of chemo. He had barely made it out alive the last time and he does not want to go through the treatment again.</p><p>"It will be alright darling. " He hears his mother whisper into his ear, and it makes the world around him a little less blurry.</p><p>Omar helps him up from the chair he is comfortably sitting in and wraps an arm around his waist as they slowly follow the nurse into the office. Ander can feel the bile rising in his throat as they get closer to the verdict.</p><p>His verdict.</p><p>All three of them sit back down in front of the large desk of his doctor. Ander catches himself rubbing his sweaty palms against his thighs, wait slowly driving him insane. When Omar takes one of his hands and his mother takes the other, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He feels somewhat safe, settled in between the two people he loves the most in this world.</p><p>Eventually, the tall middle-aged doctor walks into the room and sits down in front of them. He is holding his file tightly and Ander needs to talk himself out of grabbing it and looking at the results himself.</p><p>He wants answers.</p><p>Now.</p><p>"How have you been feeling Ander? You gave us quite a scare last time you were admitted. " The man starts, offering him a sympathetic smile.</p><p>Ander sighs because as much as he wants to be polite, he also simply wants to get to the point. He can feel how Omar’s hand is shaking in his and it drives him nuts.</p><p>"I mean…I guess I’m as good as I can be in the current…situation. " He explains, uncomfortably shifting in his seat.</p><p>"He’s been fighting so hard doctor. We’re simply amazed by his strength and courage. " Azucena adds with a tearful smile.</p><p>Ander can tell she is about to cry, and he can only pray that all this sickness is finally behind them.</p><p>"Breathe baby…" He hears Omar whisper only seconds later. He hadn’t even noticed how short his breathing was starting to get.</p><p>"Your mother is right Ander; you are indeed very strong. I wish all my patients had as much will as you to be fully honest. " The doctor smiles, slowly pushing Ander’s file towards him.</p><p>He feels like he is going to be sick.</p><p>"I think you should read the first page. " The man then adds, inviting him to open the documents.</p><p>Azucena is already bringing a hand to her mouth to block out a cry and Omar is squeezing his wrist so tight he wonders if he’s going to break it. With his shaky fingers, he gently opens the file, feeling his heart thump and his blood rush through his ears. He holds the first page up into the air and slowly starts reading the first paragraph. There are multiple very complicated words but the ones that really catch his attention are the ones written at the bottom of the page with bold red lettering.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE. </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He needs to read it multiple times in his mind before processing it, but when he finally does, it’s as if the world suddenly comes crashing down on him. At first, only a small cry escapes his lips but seconds after, his sobs take the lead.</p><p>"Remission. I’m…I’m in remission. " He finally says out loud for both his mother and boyfriend to hear. In an instant, he is wrapped into their arms, letting all the pain from the last couple weeks come bursting out and free.</p><p>The doctor smiles at the scenery and slowly stands up from his desk, proudly nodding. He then clears his throat, quickly saying a few important phrases about the importance of the next months. <em>He spoke about how remission didn’t mean the treatments were completely over. He talked about multiple and frequent check-up appointments at the hospital. He talked about depression…about anxiety. He talked about the importance of seeking the help of a psychologist if needed. He spoke about culpability and about weight loss…and he blabbed a lot about the fears he could feel about his cancer potentially being back. </em></p><p>
  <em>Soon after, he is out the door, leaving them to live out the good news privately. </em>
</p><p>Ander knows the next months will have their load of highs and lows but right now, the only thing he wants to do, is <em>live</em> in the moment.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>GUYS GUYS GUYS.<br/>Thank you.<br/>Like, thank you so much.<br/>I have no words to express how thankful I am for all the support on my story.<br/>That's why i've decided to create a follow up.<br/>YES YES AND YES. </p><p>You guys asked and you shall recieve.<br/>As you probably all know by now, I am always quite slow on posting, but I alsooooo never let down.<br/>I mean, when I start something, I can't bare with not finishing it. </p><p>So Yeah, next serie to Side Effects will now be all about the ''remission'' aspect, as the doctor explained here : He talked about multiple and frequent check-up appointments at the hospital. He talked about depression…about anxiety. He talked about the importance of seeking the help of a psychologist if needed. He spoke about culpability and about weight loss…and he blabbed a lot about the fears he could feel about his cancer potentially being back. </p><p>I hope you are all as thrilled as I am.<br/>I have no idea if they will even portait the remission side of Ander's cancer in season 4, so might as well do it myself right ? </p><p>I love you all, thank you so much for sticking around and I hope to see you all very soon :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading.<br/>Comments and Kudos make my day, what can I say. </p><p>Beaucoup d'amour, </p><p>Sabrina Xx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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